An Original... from 2008.

Strange how a poem I wrote two years ago can seem so relevant to me still. Hmm.



Awake

I'm afraid to close my eyes;
When I do I see your face.
So here I lay,
Awake.
I feel so out of place
Even in my own mind.
I'm at a loss for speech
Watching time pass me by.
I won't allow the words
To pass my lips,
To say it was all a lie-
Every touch, every kiss.
But I can't erase the memories,
And I can't replace
The time.
I still remember all too well
When I could still claim you as mine.
One thing I won't deny-Every day, you cross my mind.
I don't understand why
I can't let go of this,
Why I can't help but to reminisce...
You're long gone,
Never to return here.
It's just so weird
Feeling the ghost of the past
Bringing back the pain of
Knowing it ended so fast.
Sometimes it's like
You're really still there,
Leaving a kiss on my cheek
Or running your hand through my hair.
It's so hard to hate you
When your smile still makes me melt.
Thinking about it now
Reminds me of how I once felt.
And I just wish for once
I could forget all of this-
Your comfortable embrace,
Your hand on my hip.
I can't understand what brought the change
Why it was suddenly so different,
It just wasn't the same.
Your body used to be so tuned to mine.
They carried the same rhythm,
Spoke the same rhyme.
I guess growing up
Put us off track.
We took different paths-
No looking back.
It's better this way
As I very well know;
But it's like losing a lead actor
And carrying on with the show.
Sometimes I still feel empty
Like I won't ever be who I was before.
This smile plastered on my face
Feels like a mask, nothing more.
I have nightmares of you,
I wake up with your name on the tip of my tongue.
And each time a small part of me comes undone.
My whole body starts to shake
As I lay here,
Still awake.