I don't understand how people can jump into relationship after relationship so easily or so quickly. I can count on one hand the number of actual boyfriends I have had since freshman year of high school. Most people I know can't even count them all on TWO hands. Why? Why is it sooo important to constantly have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I just don't get it. Like, I understand not wanting to be alone. Makes sense. Everybody wants to feel loved, and like they matter to someone. But hopping from one person to the next so quickly..? Most of the people I'm talking about are the ones who date someone for a few weeks, maybe a couple months, and then break up only to be dating someone else after a couple weeks or sometimes less. Yet during the last relationship you were telling each other "I love you"..? Yeah. I'm so sure. If you were so "in love" you would've tried harder to stay together in the first place, and you wouldn't have moved on to the next person already.
There's this thing called having time to yourself too. Maybe you haven't heard of it, so I'll explain. You can't really know who you are if you're always in a relationship, because then you're trying to be what that person wants rather than being yourself. You may THINK you're being yourself, but if you're always with a different person, how do you know? Sometimes you've gotta take some time away from relationships and just stay single for a while. It's good for you, I promise. You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself first. And you should never let a boyfriend/girlfriend define you. By going from one immediately to the next, that's essentially what you're doing. And my guess would be because you most likely are too afraid to be yourself in fear of people realizing they don't like the real you, that you date so many people to try to hide behind whatever mask you put on for each person you date.
When you have such short relationships with so many different people, you aren't really even learning anything. The whole point of a relationship is to grow and experience new things. If you're only with someone for a month or so, that's hardly enough time to get to know each other, let alone experience all the different things in a relationship that makes it worthwhile. So why bother making anything "official" every time you start talking to someone new? Get to know each other first, then build a relationship from that. Isn't that how it's supposed to work? There's nothing wrong with getting to know a few different people at the same time before going into an actual relationship, you know. That's part of the whole process. If you limit yourself to one person at a time and never stay single, you're basically losing opportunities to meet other people who could potentially be better matches for you than the one person you settled for. I'm just saying it because it's true. There's no fun in constantly being caught up in a relationship and never getting to know other options.
Looking at my relationship history, you could say I almost always have a guy around. But how many of them were actual boyfriends? And by that, I don't mean boys that I was sort of dating for a week or so. I mean actual boyfriends. FOUR. Sure, I tend to almost always be "talking" to someone, but honestly? I don't ONLY talk to them necessarily, and I don't let the fact that we're talking keep me from socializing with other guys either. And so far that method hasn't failed me. If we end up "talking" for close to a month, it ends up turning into a relationship. If it's less than that, usually the guy isn't worth my time, or it's because he blows me off. I will say that there was only one of those boyfriends that I didn't really talk to until we started dating, and that relationship lasted for a year and a half. But he was my first love, so that makes an exception to the rule. The other guys? We talked for about a month before officially being in a relationship. I got to know them before making a decision about whether or not I wanted to be with them, rather than saying, "Hey I like you, and you like me, we should date!" By getting to know them first I was able to make an INFORMED decision. Two of those relationships lasted for a full year (one was off and on a lot though, but that was freshman year so I was pretty young still) and the third only lasted for a total of two months (he had the personality of a sheet of paper, and I was his first girlfriend so he was really awkward about it). See? It's really not a bad approach. c;
Maybe I am just far too old-fashioned, thinking that a girl should be courted before you ask her to be official. Or maybe I'm just too difficult, being really picky about who becomes an actual boyfriend. I tend to let my guard down and fall really easily, and honestly I probably shouldn't since I almost always end up hurt. I don't know. But I feel like anything else I continue to say will just be redundant now, so I'll just summarize again really fast. Takes some time off between relationships to spend time alone and with friends. Don't settle for just anyone because you'll miss out on getting to know other people. And if you're going to date someone, get to know them before rushing into things, that way you'll know after a while of talking if the feelings are real or not. There's billions of people in this world, you know. You're allowed to be picky. c:
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