Quote to live by

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."

-Benjamin Franklin

No big deal, just planning out my future here

I want to start a business. It is on my bucket list, after all! The problem is deciding what kind of company... I've thought about my strengths and what I would like to do, but the problem is that I want to do everything! And I would be good at anything I chose to do, too.

I want a publishing company. A magazine. A bakery. An interior design company. An expansion of SMASH. A card company. A crafts store. An art studio.

I keep wanting all these different things but don't think I can do them all. In reality though, I can do all those things. I just need to want them badly enough, and I need to start small. I need a plan. I also need a job that doesn't suck.

Step one is business cards. I remember when I was younger and my sister and I made cards by hand, we'd print "Luv-U-Lots Co." on the back. I don't think that's a half bad name for a card company, so that's where I might start.

Then I'll need materials and inventory- step two. Third, clients/customers! I need to business to run a business!

Well, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. But there's nothing wrong with dreaming big, is there?

NaNoWriMo

The first time I heard about NaNoWriMo, I was in my first year of college at Hollins University. I wish I had known about it sooner that semester, as hearing about it halfway through the month kind of defeated the purpose if I joined.

The following year, I had hoped to participate. But, to situations beyond my control, I took on three part-time jobs and barely had time to breathe let alone attempt to think up an entire novel.

This year it will be different. This year I will be ready. I have my own speace to dwell and to write. I don't have any ideas yet, but that's neither here nor there. I'll figure out something. After all, don't most writers work best under pressure?

I've been a writer my entire life, but I've been too scared to take on the actual title. People would expect me to be much more profound if I calimed myself as one. They'd ask about my works. They might even ask to read my work! But I think it's time I finally called myself for what I know I am. I am a writer. Maybe not the best or smartest or most well-educated. But I am what I am, and can be whatever I choose!

(Usually at this point I'd say "end of story", but it's only the beginning.)

I am much more bitter than I like to admit.

If there is anyone in the world who can tell me how to let go of all the anger and bitterness I feel, I wish they would. I try so hard to forgive and try to trick myself into believing that I have, but I have not.

I want to. I want to not feel a twinge of resentment when I see you or hear your name. I want to feel completely emotionless about you. It is just so difficult to forgive a friend for hurting you, especially as badly as you hurt me.

It wasn't what you did to me that hurt. No, it was how you did it. So icy and cold one day after being so warm ealier that week. How does someone switch gears like that, so effortlessly? How could you care about someone for so long, to one day wake up and suddenly no longer care?

You brought my biggest fear to life that day. An irrational nightmare come true. And you did it without batting an eye. That's what makes it so impossible to forgive you.

I'm not sure if I ever will.

Responsibilty

If good fortune comes your way, you have no one to thank but yourself. If bad fortune comes your way, you have no one to blame but yourself.

With or without help from others or even your faith, you are the sole pilot of your life. You steer it wherever it goes, regardless of any other influence.

Take responsibility for your life. It's about time you did.