I suppose this was bound to be written before I went off to college, so brace yourself for what might possibly be the most ridiculously long rant of all (thus far). Where to start? I guess I could tell all of my fellow 2011 highschool graduates congratulations, and I wish the best for you all. But why bother? Most of you didn't like me in school for one reason or another, or never really got to know me, or just didn't care who I was. And that's okay. If you're one of those people and still on my friends list, I'm shocked. I should've deleted you a long time ago. Feel free to do so now before reading further! Those of you who did like me, got to know me, and cared; Thank you. You're the reason I survived four years of drama and pointless days of highschool. I sincerely do hope you get everything you want out of life and more. You deserve it. With that said, I'll go ahead and add the fact that if you're friends with me on here, it's because I want you to be a part of my life. Although I'm leaving for Virginia in just barely over a month, I want to keep in touch. I don't want to be one of those people who you met in gradeschool and went off to college far away never to be heard of or seen again. Sure, I probably won't end up living in Indiana after college. But that doesn't mean I won't visit or want to keep up on your lives. I truly care about all of you and hope that you know if you ever need something, anything, you can come to me. I will make myself available if it is that important to you. Pinky promise. I may be a 10 hour drive away from Terre Haute, but I'm only a few seconds away in a text or phone call. Don't hesitate to contact me. I will always make time for the people who helped shaped me into who I am now.
Moving on.
I could sit here and tell you all the things I learned in highschool. I could tell you that most of the relationships you have during that time won't last, no matter how serious they seem. I could tell you that being popular doesn't mean people like you. I could tell you that you're guaranteed to get hurt by someone close to you. I could tell you that you will most likely outgrow your old best friends and find new ones. I could tell you that trying to fit in just isn't worth it. Or, I could sit here and tell you about the stuff you haven't heard. Like the fact that most of these people won't remember you at your ten year reunion. Most of your friends won't be your friends in five years, even if you live two blocks away. Your parents aren't always going to be there to bail you out of whatever stupid situation you got yourself into. You can't dwell on past relationships or you'll never get it to work out with the right person when he finally comes along. The biggest lesson I think I've learned? Tolerance. I used to have no tolerance for people. If they annoyed me, I was rude to them. If they said one wrong thing, I wrote them off immediately. If I had a bad first impression of them I looked for every possible reason I could find just to not like them. If someone was "weird" in comparison to the average kid, I generally ignored them. But over time I've come to see that everyone just wants to be cared for. I still have some small pet peeves that set me off with people, but I'm just now getting over the last bout of unwarranted dislike. I try to be a good and kindhearted person. Sometimes that ends up screwing me over, but on the other hand, I feel great about myself knowing I was the one to go out of my way to make someone else feel better. I'm trying my hardest to fix relationships with people who I have hurt, who have hurt me, or who I decided a long time ago that I didn't like without any legitimate reason. There is only one exception to that statement; he had a chance and in a way he screwed himself over, so I came to the realization that he will never be worth my time or energy, simply put. I feel like I should feel like a failure, but I don't. Why? Because I did try, and it wasn't my fault that things played out like they did. Past mistakes can ruin an entire future. End of story. There's still a few people I haven't completely gotten back to good terms with yet, but someday I will. It'll take some time to grow and be able to forgive some things. And that is perfectly okay.
What else do I need to add? Well, summer is halfway gone already. That means I'm running out of time to see friends before I leave. So please, if you want to do something, text me! I'm a busy person and don't always think about going out of my way to make plans, I kindof just let things happen. Spontaneity is key. If I'm not at work, I'm down for anything. :)
Also, I want to share three of my biggest beliefs. The first one is already tattooed on my skin. The other two will follow. "Amor vincit omnia." Latin for love conquers all. It truly does, if you believe in it hard enough. I'm not saying follow your heart 100%. More like, follow your heart 50%, listen to your head 30%, and follow your intuition 20%. You can't go wrong. Secondly, "Que sera, sera." Spanish for what will be, will be. I believe in this with everything in my heart and soul. You have to quit worrying about what's going to happen and just let things fall into place on their own. If it's meant to be, it will come around eventually. Patience truly is a virtue. And you can't change what is meant to happen. Lastly, "Leben lachen lieben." German verbs, live laugh love. Everyone should live by this rule. Live your life the way you want. Laughter should be about 80% of what is escaping your mouth. And love should always be in your heart. Kindness is never oldfashioned. Trust me.
Speaking of love, a lot of people ask me the same question over and over and over again. So why don't I just talk about it openly rather than a thousand times? The question is "What are you and Sebastian going to do?" Meaning, some of you are dying to find out whether or not we're going to break up or stay together. Let me put it this way: If you were with someone for an entire year and then left just to go a few states away, would YOU break up with them? No, probably not. Why on Earth would we throw away a great year worth of memories and fun and happiness just to be alone and miserable when we go to college? This is probably the dumbest question I have ever been asked. Honestly! It's kindof insulting, also, when some of you laugh in our face when we tell you we're going to stay together. Read my last paragraph: "LOVE CONQUERS ALL". What happens in our relationship right now, in the future, and anything from the past is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. We don't want your advice. We don't want your opinion. And we surely don't want to talk to you about our future plans. None of it concerns you, so keep your noses out of it. Thanks. :)
Did I miss anything? Probably. In a way, I suppose this is sort of my letter to bid you all farewell. I won't see most of you for a long time, I'm sure. But like I said, I'm just a phone call or a text away. Facebook me anytime. For the record, even though I seem so put together about heading off to school in Virginia, I am absolutely 100% terrified. I hate being completely alone and having to figure things out for myself. Sure, I will make new friends quickly, and I can always call home whenever, and if it gets that bad I can drive the ten hours back here just to visit on a weekend. The thought of all the new adventures I'll have and the new people and new places excites me to no end. You honestly don't even understand. But at the same time, I hate being in unfamiliar places without a single familiar face. Most of you will stay here and be all lovely with your college shenanigans. But I won't. And I hope I'll be okay.
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