Tell me something I don't know.

It's insane how fast this year is going by... I spent the last couple hours just looking through old pictures of friends and myself online, and old posts on Facebook. What happened to the time? It seems like just yesterday that I was up at the microphone announcing things for eighth grade graduation... and now all of a sudden it's senior year and I'm almost done in highschool. It's hard to believe I've made it this far, that we've all made it this far.

This is written to all of the seniors, class of 2011. I want you to go back with me and remember where you were so long ago, like I'm doing now. I want you to understand how far we've all come since we were freshmen. I want you to read this and feel a sense of accomplishment for all that you've done in highschool, because this year is almost over. You need to soak it up while you can. I hope you all end up where you want to go in life, I hope you all succeed. And if there's anything you walk away from this blog knowing, I hope it's that you know that you can do anything if you want it badly enough.

This is also written to all of the freshmen, class of 2014. By the time you're sophomores and juniors you'll just be thankful to not be the bottom of the chain, and you'll be getting frustrated with the freshmen below you like we all do with you guys. But it's not the age that bothers us so much. It's the fact that you guys are still so naive and young enough to have time to stop yourselves from making the same stupid mistakes we made at your age up until now. Yes, we know you don't want to hear us lecture you. So that's why this is also for you. I want you to read this and picture yourself in three years. Write yourself a letter that you vow not to open until graduation. I wrote one to myself in fifth grade that's been sealed shut since. I still have it, and I won't open it until this June. I promise you'll be glad you wrote to yourself, because you'll see the differences and it'll amaze you how things change. Me? I'm really antsy about opening that letter. I don't remember what it says, and it will be a nice flash back in time for me. I'm rambling. My point is that I hope you guys make better choices in the future than some of us have made in the past. You've got a few years ahead of you to set yourself up for a great life. Take advantage of the time you have left, and spend it doing something meaningful. You'll be proud of yourself, and you'll end up much better off. If there is any advice you walk away from this knowing, I hope it's that you will be a better person, a kind person, and treat everyone you come across with respect, regardless if they deserve it or not. If you give respect, you'll get respect. And people will appreciate you much more.

So here goes...

I used to believe a lot of things in eighth grade. I believed love was a crazy concept that I wouldn't understand until sometime after highschool. I believed my best friends at the time would always be my best friends, and that nobody would ever be able to replace them. I believed death was something that wouldn't affect me for years to come. I believed premarital intimacy was beyond wrong. I believed I had to be who other people wanted me to be. I believed that it was okay to manipulate people to get what I wanted. I believed I wasn't good enough to do and be a lot of things. I believed I was always right.

But none of that was true. You can accept it or not, but I've experienced love. I've tried to stay close to some of those best friends, but to be honest, none of them are part of my every day routine anymore. And even though there is nothing that can replace the memories of all the times I spent with those friends, there's quite a few people in my life who have come to replace them as my best friends. Unfortunately, death has affected me multiple times the past four years, mostly this past September. And even though I don't condone slutty behavior, I don't think I'm going to be sent to Hell for losing my virginity before marriage. I've come to realize that it's okay to be my own person, and to not live up to other peoples' expectations of who I should be. It's not okay to use people for my own gain, which is something I had a hard time learning. And even though sometimes it may not seem like it, my self esteem is great. I see myself in a very positive way, I just have bad days sometimes.

But the biggest realization I came to? Sometimes I'm wrong about things, and that's okay. Like the cliche goes, "Everyone makes mistakes. We're only human." And it's true. Sure, I may have made a few more mistakes than it should have been to figure out the right decisions. But if you put it in perspective, I think I've made many more positive choices than bad ones. I take care of myself and look out for myself better than most girls do in highschool. I don't let people walk all over me like a doormat, but I also don't get all up in anyone's face. I've had a lot of fun (and sometimes a little too much), but I've also worked hard to get myself to where I am now. A lot of you might think I just happened to get lucky and end up where I am now, but that's not true. Sure, some stuff may come easier to me academically than some students. But that doesn't mean I didn't struggle to keep my GPA up as high as it is.

On top of schoolwork alone I spent a lot more time interacting in other programs than I noticed. I spend time working backstage and in pit orchestra for multiple plays and musicals. I play in the orchestra and sing in show choir. I played softball for about three years. I'm in National Honor Society. I was in Link Crew for a year. I've had a job since the day after I turned sixteen. I started a club and actively plan events and take donations to the Humane Society. I'm in Asian American club. I made homecoming court. Soon I might start giving private viola lessons to a fifth grader. I babysit my younger sister every Monday night. Seem like a lot? That's because it is. While some of you were sitting around at home every day after school pretending like you were too busy with schoolwork to do anything else, I was working myself to death so I could prove to myself that I'm capable of doing anything I set my mind to. And somewhere in all that madness I found the time to apply to Hollins University in Roanoke, Virginia, and got accepted.

I digress.

Thinking about just how far I've really come in the past few years blows my mind. Three years ago I was halfway through my freshman year, no worries in the world. I looked like a complete "emo kid", but laughed and spent a lot of time with my friends thinking nothing would ever change. I never would have been able to picture ending up where I am now. But, although it's a huge jump to make in only three years, I'm glad I'm here. It hasn't been easy, that's for sure. Relationships gone wrong. Adjusting to new teachers every trimester. Breaking hearts. Meeting new people. My first car. Destroying friendships. Watching my sister leave for college. First love. Losing both a grandfather and an old best friend in the same week. Parties. New love. It's a lot for a girl to go through in such a short amount of time. But I can say that I did it, and I made it out okay.

So here's what I want all of you to do. Comment on here, post on my wall, send me a message, or something to that effect, and tell me what you've accomplished that you're proud of. Tell me something you wish you would have done differently. Tell me a mistake you made. Tell me where you see yourself five years from now. Tell me what you want to do with your life. Tell me a secret. Tell me about a time you made someone feel better about themselves. Tell me what your biggest fear is of the future. Tell me about something you love. Tell me anything, I'm listening.

I don't care if we haven't talked in years. I don't care if I've never even met you in person. I don't care if you're not a freshmen or senior that this was directed toward. We all have something to say, and we all need someone to listen. I can be that person if you let me. You are an amazing person, no matter what other people might tell you, no matter what you might think, no matter what mistakes you may have made. You control your life, so take care of it.

To all seniors who will be leaving for college before you know it, such as myself, GOOD LUCK. And keep in touch. Seriously. I'll be all by myself in Virginia and I'll have to make new friends. So please, please, please give me a shout once in a while. I want to know how you're doing because I genuinely care at any given point in time. Be careful out there in the world next year, and do well. I know you all will.

To the rest of you in highschool, good luck as well. It'll pass you by quicker than you think.