After working at two different Subways I can honestly say customers are not always right like the policy says. Most of the time they make stupid comments or ask obvious questions that just irritate me. However, because I don't want to lose my job, I'm generally nice to them and don't reply with these sarcastic remarks that I wish I could say back...
Where's your bathroom?
Well let's see... Since there's only one hallway, I'd assume it's down there.
What's on the Chicken Bacon Ranch (or other obvious named sandwich)?
(Believe it or not, I have people who ask me this.) Chicken. And bacon. Oh, and I believe there might be some ranch dressing on it too.
What kind of cheese do you have/do you have Swiss or mozzarella?
If you would look at the sign on the glass right in front of your face, it names the four cheeses we DO have. And I promise it's not false advertising.
Could you heat the meat before you toast it?
I get especially mad at this when we're busy. Why toast the stupid sandwich if you want the meat heated first (or vice versa)?
What kind of vegetables does that come with?
The whole point is for you to choose your own. Hence why I wait for you to tell me what to put on it before I start. Duh.
Do you have any tea?
Are you too lazy to look yourself? See the tea machine to your left? Yes? Well are there two containers below it?
Do you have 5 dollar footlongs/What are they?
Do you see the sign behind me? Can you read prices? What about the list right on the glass in front of you?
What kind of cookies do you have?
Again with the sign reading. Are you freaking blind or illiterate or something? And if you are illiterate, I apologize. But you should still be able to tell what kind of cookies are what.
What's Italian Herbs and Cheese bread?
Normally it's Italian bread that's covered in herbs and some cheese. But sometimes it's wheat bread with Honey Oats on it. *Sarcasm hand raised* NAME THING.
Is the (insert new sandwich name here) any good?
Because half of my life is spent at work and around this food, I'm sick of eating it constantly. So why would I have tried a new sandwich that just came in today? I have NO IDEA how it tastes because just the thought of it makes me want to vomit. And aside from that, people have different tastes, so I probably wouldn't like it anyways even if you would.
Do you have chips?
No. I offer the chips and drink as a joke when I ring you up. *sarcasm hand raised*
Where's the apple/yogurt/juice/bottled beverages?
If you would turn to your right you'll see a cooler. It might just be in there. Then again, I think it's in the register, let me go get it for you...
Is it cheaper to buy the meal?
Contrary to popular beliefs that your sandwich will be cheaper if you ask for the meal, it really isn't. How could it be cheaper if you're spending more money? Exactly. Common sense obviously isn't so common anymore.
(In drive-thru) What's that say below "..."?
Hold on, let me walk outside and check for you, because unfortunately I don't have a drive-thru sign inside the store. That would be awfully inconvenient for people to have to come inside for drive-thru, don't you think?
And along with these dumb questions, people also do things that irk me. This includes:
-Standing with the door open; We have a door alarm that goes off in the back and doesn't shut off until the door is shut. It's extremely annoying.
-Leaving the majority of your trash on the table; We're not your parents. Pick up after yourself. It may be our job to work there but that doesn't mean we should have to do those little things that you're too lazy to do yourself. When you leave messes we can tell you've never worked in a food place before and therefore don't understand how much it sucks. Just please be nice and do it! We really do appreciate it.
-Tracking in dirt after we've just mopped; Thank you for that. No, really. I just love having to go back and mop again a second time. It just gives me the greatest joy.
-Getting a sandwich with a ton of meat plus every vegetable and like six sauces; Do you realize how impossible it is to keep a sandwich like that together and fold it shut? And then cutting a footlong in half like that is a whole other issue.
-Coming inside just to use our bathroom; Yes I understand ours is the cleanest in the area. But is it really necessary? I get up to the front and wash my hands and put on gloves for you just to go to the bathroom and ignore me. Thanks.
-Clogging the toilet (and not telling us); I don't know if you've ever had to unclog a toilet, but it's NOT fun. It makes you gag and it's just a disgusting thing in general.
-Telling me to make one thing and then changing your mind; If you didn't know, we count bread every night. And when I make one sandwich on it and have to change it, then I have to throw away the whole sandwich. Meaning we just wasted a piece of bread and I get in trouble if I waste too much in one week.
-Coming in with a crappy attitude; I don't want to be there in the first place and you being an ass just makes it even less enjoyable.
-Sitting down at a table that I'm obviously about to sweep at; This one is a no-brainer. Why would you even sit down when I've got a huge dirt pile in front of it? Then it takes me even longer to sweep because I can't sweep around customers because it's unsanitary in case dirt were to get in the air. >:(
-Hitting on me; Okay. First off, do you not see the ring on my finger? I promise you I did not pay for it myself. Second, why would I consider you at all when the majority of guys that come in there are nasty hicks who have snuff in their cheek? EWW. No thank you.
-Sharing your whole life story when I'll only know you for another two minutes; I'm not a therapist. If you have problems, go find someone who wants to listen.
-Not acknowledging me when I greet you; That is just rude to be honest. The least you could do is nod your head. But ignoring me altogether? It kind of hurts my feelings.
-Telling me it's not a meal, but you want chips and a drink; Uhmm... I'm not even going to explain this one.
-Talking on your phone when ordering; Again with the rudeness. If your conversation is so important, step out of line so someone who actually wants food can get it.
-Insisting I gave you the wrong change when I know for a fact I didn't; I'm not two. I can count money. Stop trying to cheat me. I can show you on camera that I gave you the right amount.
-When people get angry because a footlong feast or philly is $9.36 with tax and they didn't read the sign that says it; It's not my fault you don't know your numbers right. Don't blame me for you not reading.
-(In drive-thru) Getting angry and leaving when we're obviously extremely busy; Patience is a virtue, ever heard that? I'm sorry we have customers waiting in front of you. Chill your nuts.
-(In drive-thru) Talking to me like I'm stupid when I just can't hear your order with a highway twenty feet behind you; HIGHWAY. TWENTY FEET AWAY. HELLOOOO? I'm not retarded, I know English. But when a loud truck drives behind you or a car revs up really loudly it overpowers you on the speaker. Just pull around to the freaking window to order if I'm making you that angry. Geez.
I'm sure there's a lot more that ticks me off when I'm working, but those are probably the biggest ones. Plus, I just wrote as much as I could in the 45 minutes we had in English to write an essay. Which I didn't write because I didn't deem it necessary. :) Hah, big words.
So next time you go into a Subway, please try to keep these things in mind. We really do love our customers, but sometimes people don't use their brains. I bet you'll be treated much better whatever Subway you go to, unless the employees are the ones with the problem. And if they're crabby, just excuse them. Maybe they're stuck working an 11 hour shift like I've had to do twice. It isn't fun when the customers are rude. Be a nice customer, we'll like you more. :)
Oh, and the sarcasm hand thing came from Dan Bergstein. He is currently reading the Twilight series for the first time and blogging about it on SparkNotes. Go read it. Seriously. He is the funniest guy ever. :D
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